Reading too much into it

holmes

Recently I’ve been looking at house shares in Norwich, with a view to moving closer to where I work and avoid the soul-sapping commute in and out of the city. This has involved a bit of me asking everyone I know if they’ve “heard of any rooms going”, but mostly it’s been trawling Gumtree online.

It works like this; someone has a spare room going in their house. They can’t find/can’t agree on anyone they know moving in, so they decide to throw it into the arms of fate and place an advert on the internet. They spend (possibly) hours constructing a short description of the available space, taking photos of their living room from fifteen different angles, then moving the pile of laundry and retaking the photos, then plonking the whole lot online so prospective tenants can indiscriminately click through them. And competition is fierce. For the house-hunter (ie. me) there’s no a lot to go on. It seems everyone has a “Lovely Large Double/Single Room within 10 mins/30 mins/Walking Distance of the City Centre.” The pixelated photos, taken at ‘artistic’ angles are no help whatsoever in judging the size of the room.

So I’ve donned my finest Sherlock Holmes headgear, waxed my Piorot-like moustache, and raised one eyebrow, Columbo style, in order to undertake some detective work and unravel the clues left in the style and tone of written description of each property.

As the following examples show, you can tell alot about a person from the way they write.

frankly a bit weird

I would argue that gender actually matters quite a bit, gay or not. Needless to say I did not contact them.

nice friendly ad

Now I found this advert much more appealing, full of actually useful information and charm, especially the bit about nice pots and pans. Though I found it a bit surprising that the first advert and recieved double the number of viewings as the second, despite being posted only three days before.

By the way I blurred out those people’s email addresses so that I can beat you to viewing the house. So long suckers!

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